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Pages: Am I being overly sensitive? [1]
Author Topic: Am I being overly sensitive?

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2011-02-08 19-42-01

Am I being overly sensitive? My gf and I have been together for 3 years....2 years living together....we have a very passionate relationship on all aspects. We love each other very equally and like non-other. Most of the time...we are like super couple! BUT We also can have very heated arguments. Our last arguement, got heated and after a while...she exclaimed "F - you!" I use the F word once in a while...but NEVER at a person that I love in that form....mostly i say things like..."that f-ing sucks and such". There was a fight we has last year when she said that directy to me and I told her how bad it hurt.... This fight was 2 days ago, and although we made up...I can feel myself harboring ill feelings about her use of vocabulary to me in such a direct's not my style, and not something that she's been doing regularly so My FORUM question: How do you/ have you handle being swore at by the one you love the most? Am I just being sensitive?
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2011-02-09 18-02-00

maybe the issue is more that you both need to learn how to calmly and fairly work through conflicts together instead of yelling obscenities at each other. That's dissrespectful and of course it causes lasting hurt. If you continue to scream at each other on a regular basis I think it's going to chip away at the foundation of your bliss, wrecking the good stuff for you. Learn how to argue. There will still be fear, anger and hurt to work through, but at least you won't cause MORE of those things by working through it.
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  • sedam

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    2011-02-10 10-28-06

    Passionately exchanging views??? Call it what you want. Fyou, and 'shove it' has still been said, you've told her how you feel, she obviously can't change it totally. Something major has to change, on both your parts.
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    2011-02-10 11-48-12

    Ummm i think it may be just a way for her to communicate her frustration...Not that its a good thing....Did you address this during the Make Up? I know for me when i get to my wits end with some one or just dont understand where they are coming from at all...i could very easily just say F $$^%#$ you... And not being a smart ass BUT are you PMS ing.....?
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    2011-02-10 14-56-14

    i WAS pms ing could be why i'm so sensitive
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    2011-02-11 3-25-47-

    that doesn't mean it's not valid, just that you're more sensitive / less tolerant of crap than you normally would be. I use my PMS time to tune in to the stressful events of my life because I notice them more at that time. Then I work towards changing the stress I recognized, so make my overall life easier. So don't dismiss it just because you were PMSing
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  • cormier

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    2011-02-11 8-28-50-

    maybe but thats ok... and as fd said it still is valid....If you take a look at the fight now, is it as important as it seemed to be at the time? Id say more then likely not...and your feelings of hurt will pass eventually also. Fighting fair is not easy and if you have 2 passionate people it can escalate pretty easy....Guess its just going to take time /practice to get it sorted out....when to walk away and come back to the discussion...Good Luck.
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    2011-02-11 14-32-08

    my thoughts... ..are that you are not be overly sensitive. You're sensitivity is your's and no one else's. If you've shared your feelings of hurt about being cussed *at*, then you've got every right to feel uneasy and perhaps harbor feeling of resentment and/or anger following this most recent incident. I'm sorry that you're having to experience this and thankful that you've reconciled the argument. I have been in these shoes, having been cussed *at* during an argument. It hurts deeply and it's not fixed by an apology. Time and demonstrative caring ease it, but it hurts like the dickens!!
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  • zerlinda

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    2011-02-12 2-33-22-

    I'd feel exactly the same way, so if you're overly sensitive you've at least got some company; it's just how we're wired. You sound like a nice person, so maybe you let her off the hook too easily the first time? If she truly got it, and it slipped out again, I'd think she'd drop to her knees and beg your forgiveness. It just doesn't sound to me like she gets it, so sit her down and say, "I love you, but (insert behavior) hurts me, and I don't think you realize just how much because the word is so generic these days." Then, take some pressure off the situation by saying, "Is there anything you'd like me to work on while we're on the subject because I know I'm not perfect either?" Then kiss her gently :)
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  • Art

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    2011-02-12 9-22-18-

    does she say f$#@ a lot ? if she says it when the toaster burns her bagel it is just an expression for her like "oh balls!" or "this sucks".
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    2011-02-13 17-36-18

    no she doesn't say it alot that why i guess it stung so bad.... and for the record... when she said it the first time, I DID make a point of saying...hey, i love you you love me, lets not say things like that to each other... i'm feeling better now....we did kiss and make up....i was sort of dwelling
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    2011-03-17 7-06-24-

    Thanks FO! I love all of your input it truly helps..
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    2011-07-08 11-13-58

    late but now that its over I'd probably ask to talk about it. Let her know it cut deep, and let her know that while you understand she was agry and frustrated, that it lingers... and in the future to please try and fight fair. Really? I think you can have huge disagreements and still be respectful and not resort to name ing. Once it goes there? If its not nipped in the bud? It can be the beginning of the end.
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