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Pages: get her to like running too [1]
Author Topic: Get her to like running too

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2011-02-08 18-58-28

get her to like running too and do it together
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Posts: 4

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2011-02-09 11-47-41

sorry, as a non-athlete I kinda resent this advice. If you don't love it, you hate it. Maybe she should make a point of doing something for herself that she enjoys while roll is out on her run.
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2011-02-10 4-55-41-

Look who's back. ed.
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2011-02-10 19-01-46

get a cart for her & pull her along behind you on your runs I bet this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of problems in that relationship.
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2011-02-11 2-43-38-

I don't see a problem with it. it's only an hour. Maybe the hour of running isn't the real issue. Maybe she's not as happy with this Mon-Thurs thing as you think she is. Maybe she hates it, or maybe something else is going on. You taking an hour for yourself makes you more relaxed so you can be better for her. I can't see how anyone would begrudge you for that. Maybe if you sit down with her and explain how important it is for you to have "me" time - and you've said your life is so busy you can't really do this during the week. If she's still set against it, ask her if it really the run that's bothering her. Good luck.
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Posts: 17

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2011-02-11 16-25-38

gee, i just don't know what to say
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  • corky

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    2011-02-12 8-15-22-

    You have some communicating to do I am a workout fiend too, and it's of the things that keeps me sane (or nearly so) and healthy. Even though you don't see each OTHER from M-F, you still have a hectic schedule during thise 5 days, and taking an hour or for yourself on the weekends is not too much to ask. Maybe you can pose it to her this way - workouts aren't just a hobby, they're an investment in your mental and physical health, so by working out you're insuring you'll have lots more weekends of healthy time together. FD has a good suggestion - if she won't work out with you (and if you're like me, I prefer solo workouts anyway) maybe she can do something she enjoys for herself for that hour.
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  • Farhan

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    Posts: 26

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    2011-02-12 11-36-02

    thanks 4 the advice it's true that we need to communicate more about it and I realize that keeping it inside me will only allow it to fester. i don't know if she feels threatened by my having other priorities than her on the wkends. Neither of us is thrilled, obviously about our not seeing each other mon-thurs, but unfortunately it's something that right now neither of us can change. I'll hopefully bring it up this weekend and see what she says. In the meantime, thanks all for your comments - they've helped a bunch!!
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  • pesnell

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    2011-02-15 8-00-13-

    From her perspective... Maybe she sees this as you making time out of your time together to work out, but NOT taking time away from work to work out. It's subtle, but she might have a point... You could work out Monday and Thursday but you don't choose to. On the other hand, it's scary and way too needy to not let you have an hour.
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  • burkhardt

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    2011-03-24 1-15-32-

    and the endorphines from the run usually have a very nice effect on one's libido.
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 20

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    2011-07-10 16-51-28

    not doing what you need to do for yourself is not the answer. This is her issue for her to figure out how to deal with. That is to say you can only be you and you can support her in dealing with her emotions on this issue. If you continue to not run when with her you WILL resent her. All you can do is explain how good it is for you and offer her support in dealing with that. It took x years and her asking me every once in a while if I wanted to come to her studio before I went to my first pilates session with my wife. So be patient and encourage her to come sometimes. Good luck
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  • dash

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    2011-12-18 16-48-11

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    2012-03-17 11-31-31

    Not a hobby. Running is good for you. You could tell her you may leave this world sooner without exercise and she wouldn't get to see you at all then. :-) Could you possibly break away from your job, say at lunch time and get your running in during the week? Satisfies both needs that way. YOU should ALWAYS be your first priority. If you don't self nurture you may not have much for her or what you have is just sheer grumpiness. Or... you can just drop her and "run" away with me - literally. I'd love to run with ya. My favorite things involve sweating and breathing heavy. Woo hoo.
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    2012-12-25 3-49-41-

    speaking from the perspective of a very active person, i know i would be in a much better mood with my lover (if i had one) and if i were able to get exercise and i would be very unhappy to feel stuck. thathour is like an investment in enjoying the rest of the day with her. and i think the others are onto something that something else may be bothering her.
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  • rawlings

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    2013-10-21 19-15-00

    From my perspective as a woman who was married for a fairly long time, I would say you need to keep running. Do not abandon an important part of yourself in order to maintain a relationship. I did that: I love to sing and dance. My ex could do neither. I stopped because he wanted to do "us" things together. Well, that wasof the worst decisions I made. This wasof the ways I lost my self over time. My suggestion is to maintain who you are. Squeezing outrun during the work week makes sense and onlyrun on the weekend (evenor three runs!) is certainly reasonable. For you, running is not frivolity or a chore. It's a part of who you are. I think someone else suggested that maybe something else is going on with the relationship and I think that idea is worth exploring.
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  • Daloris

    Posts: 31

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    2014-02-18 10-43-13

    I know how you feel When I was with my girlfriend, I experienced a similar situation. Like you, I love to run. I need to. You are right - it's a major stress reliever. My girlfriend was never as into it as I was, and I always had to drag her everywhere, because I guess i wanted her to feel the pleasures of working out.. She didn't. I do not think that you are selfish at all. It sounds from your schedule that you are very busy, and running seems a central part of your life. That's YOU time. Allow yourself to indulge in that activity. You deserve it, and you shouldn't let anyone, no matter how significant, make you feel guilty for doing something you love that is positive for yourself. She should understand that. If she is not willing to run with you, then encourage her to take the time that you are out of the house for her own activity - whether it be taking a bath or journalling or reading a book - something that she equally enjoys. She deserves time for herself, too. And if she devotes that time to reflect or do something that she loves, an introspective activity, she will eventually look forward to that time to herself, much like you do with running, and that is a great thing. She will pressure you less to spend every waking second with her, while at the same time she will be learning and growing in herself, which is great. Then, after both of you reward yourselves in your separate activities, you will be more emotionally available for each other. When you finally reunite again, you will have a stronger sense of self and a stronger appreciation for each other. During this time youcan catch up and share your experiences with each other, without being jealous. Instead, you can be happy for and supportanother in your individual growth so that you can better grow as a couple.. I hope this helps, and best of luck. :-) Let me know how it works out.
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  • niner

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    Posts: 12

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    2014-07-26 5-55-24-

    question about jealousy/selfishness So. My girlfriend and I've been together for over a year, and from Mon-Thursday we don't see each other (she lives x min away and we have completely opposite schedules).Our relationship is healthy, we're both happy, much in-love, care for each other completely, etc., butthing that we can never see eye-to-eye on is this: I'm an athlete, and I love to run. It's my hobby, my way of clearing my head, of alleviating my stress from a hectic workweek where I leave the house at x:xam and get home at x:xpm. Of course, Mon-Thurs I can really only get to the gym once, which means I'd like to hit it at least once during the weekend, but since that's our "time together" (either she comes here Fri-Sun or I go there), she gets pissed that I'm leaving her to do something as frivolous as running. Understandably, running's something she does, but only because she forces herself to, and I do it because I love it. So basiy she's annoyed that I would want to give up an hour of our special time together, and I'm annoyed that she makes me feel guilty and thus I stay home. I'm trying to see this from her angle, I don't relish the fact of leaving her in front of the TV for an hour by herself in the morning, when Mon-Thursday I'm dying just to see her and kiss her, but I'm also sacrificingvery important part of my life that is already sacrificed enough because of my job. Am I selfish for wanting to indulge in a hobby and for leaving her alone, or is she jealous that I'd actually choose something over her for an hour? I realize this is somewhat insignificant in the big picture, and I've probably given way too many details, but what's your take??
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