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Pages: My Master crossed the line (?) [1]
Author Topic: My Master crossed the line (?)

Posts: 1

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2011-02-08 14-02-23

My Master crossed the line (?) My Master/slave relationship (I'm the slave) turned ugly recently due to my inability to communicate to my Master in a way that He understands. I'm pretty new to all this and I am confused as hell! Would anyone care to discuss this with me? I welcome honest criticism, but please don't be rude just because you can. Thanks in advance!
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Posts: 3

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2011-02-09 2-01-56-

good morning but what was the miss communication if i may ask
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  • fillinger

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    2011-02-09 20-02-14

    We work together. It was work related. I think he abused me.
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    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-10 7-35-37-

    with out details hard to tell
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    Full Member
    Posts: 9

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    2011-02-10 9-35-50-

    What kind of details? I don't mean to be so brief, but I don't know how much info to give out here.
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    Posts: 3

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    2011-02-11 0-56-32-

    well that not right
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    Posts: 6

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    2011-02-11 15-15-53

    Thats what I thought However, I'm unsure what to do in this situation. Has anybody else here dealt with this? What did you do? I'm afraid of him now.
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    Posts: 8

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    2011-02-11 16-40-49

    Fear is abuse.. not BDSM or D/s You should be able to clearly communicate your feelings to your Dom. If you are uncomfortable with doing something then use your Safe Word during a scene to stop it. If he is still Dom'n you at Work... and you don't want him to then tell him. But when it becomes a situation where he doesn't care about YOU, your feelings, your safety, your job...... and continues to Dominate you and is physiy abussive... then he is a Bully... NOT a true Dom.... then run. Get away from him. It is not D/s..... it is abuse under the veil of Kink.
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    Posts: 4

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    2011-02-12 5-15-03-

    I think you're right I think he's a bully. My first mistake was not insisting on a safe word when he assured me he would "know" when I wanted to stop (yes, I actually went along with that). We were M/s before we started working together. After working together the lines started becoming blurry. Everything seemed ok till the other day when he got angry.
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    Posts: 5

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    2011-02-12 6-26-10-

    totally agree Is that guy suffering from Tops disease? Master/Slave is hard to do right. IMHO you have to be careful about passive aggressive behaviour, trust, and exchange. Simple d/s or even better, just topping for a scene would be more appropriate. IMHO what you need to do is to draw a line somewhere. Either that or maybe you can get on top of him. Maybe its time to counterattack. Don't know. tricky situation.
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    2011-02-13 0-16-48-

    Seems to me (IMHO) that I am on top if I can evoke that kind of emotion. I'm not being sassy, just seems like he was OUT of control.
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  • jezewski

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    2011-03-10 12-00-35

    Thats not where I want to be
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  • robson

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    2011-06-30 2-41-40-

    x the bastard
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  • liles

    Posts: 27

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    2011-08-08 14-14-42

    turnerbroadcasting's first rule of work. Turnerbroadcasting's first law of work. "The harder you work, the more you should get paid" Apply that rule first in work. Will this thing thats going on end up changing that situation. New job. New dom. Definitely. And in that order please.
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    Posts: 19

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    2012-01-18 15-56-27

    Doms also have to control themselves How can you control other people if you can't even control yourself? If he is out of control then that is dangerous for you.... not insisting on a Safe Word is VERY dangerous for you. If you can't talk out these problems with him, and I'm guessing he won't, then you had better move on and find someone who will appreciate and cherish your gift of submission.... and YOU.
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    2012-04-14 1-33-48-

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    2012-08-28 21-23-52

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    Posts: 26

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    2012-11-26 19-43-29

    This is said with minimal information but... it sounds like he has crossed a line from consensual BDSM into abuse. To me it is a pretty bright line, someone who gets angry and acts violently against anyone, including a "slave", is an abuser and should be dropped as soon as possible. If he is taking D/s to work that seems deeply unethical to me, particularly if he is in a position of authority over you. This whole situation seems little off and sounds abusive. Definately don't blame your self and understand that abuse and BDSM can happen in the same relationship. An act can have seriously different means in different contexts. Got to go to work, but I wish I had time to say more. Take care-consent (a fellow portlander) (tweet-feel free to email me off fo' if you want to discuss further, I got to head to work)
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    Posts: 53

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    2012-12-22 20-00-54

    I think that can happen fairly easily particularly when you are new. It happened to me before as well. How does he want you to communicate with him?
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  • benita

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    2013-04-07 3-37-09-

    Try that thing that lock and key thing The whole thing is that its probably difficult to draw the line between work and play. I am not sure what "turned ugly" means but I can guess that the idea was that there was supposed to be d/s happening when in fact real life happened. so there's this lock and key safeword set that some people use- you can use it to initiate roles "the key is in the lock" "the lock is open" response means the play begins. then key is out of the lock. lock closed. can be end. that way if you want to play out in the wide open world you can start/stop the game. Robert Anton Wilson once wrote : "There can be no communication without equals"
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