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Pages: my sex drive is gone *sobs* [1]
Author Topic: My sex drive is gone *sobs*

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2011-02-08 14-46-57

my sex drive is gone *sobs* what do i do? I am 7 weeks pregnant and the thought of sex is great but the actual act is not fun. All i can think about is the embryo and its not a sexy thought. Will it pass? What do i do? Help me kinkfo. help me please. Lastnight, i actually felt like giving him a blowjob was an obligation, and i usually love it! I need help and fast!
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2011-02-09 4-26-54-

Maybe try not to focus on sex? go for a nice back rub or something? or maybe a foot rub?
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  • luckenbach

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    2011-02-09 17-13-19

    This, too, shall pass It's first trimester hormones and the "I'm pregnant! Somebody's in there!" braintape kicking in. I went through that - then second trimester my libido heated right back up, dropped a bit toward the middle to end of the third, and stayed AWOL until my baby was about three months old. It's a transition thing - body, mind, and heart, the most overwhelming shift of role and identity that you'll ever have. Flow with it, and realize you aren't going to end up permamnantly desexualized. Just slipped in for a peek - now I'm gone again!
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    2011-02-10 10-03-40

    It's temporary - just be healthy & happy
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    2011-02-11 1-50-34-

    I share your sobs Hormones will do that to you. And it's soooooo unfair to you, (and husband, but he's not the point of this post. If he needs to chat about it, you can send him to me.) Everything that has been said about it is true. My partner was a not very horny pregnant woman for the first boy, And a not very horny nursing woman for 27 months after. Then she started to cycle again, and was more or less back to her wonderful hot little self, before I knocked her up again. 40 weeks of not horny at all, (this is from my perspective) followed by 19 months of not very horny again. Now she's getting hot again, and all will be right as rain. This Illustrates a few points: Everyone's different, best case scenario: Next week you get your sex drive back with a vengence, and fuck night and day until your water breaks or you get to transition, which ever comes last. (more to come)
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  • cost

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    2011-02-11 15-45-23

    Hon - trust me . . . . no matter what the 'new age' (rhymes with "sewage") pundits say, there is no danger to the fetus by having sex while you're expecting (according to my OB-GYN - and I trusted her implicitly). You just have to adjust yourself to be comfortable - maybe try doing it doggy - that was much better for me when I was carrying my daughter. A lot of women equate discomfort with 'harm to the fetus' and that's not the case. Just fuck your brains out, and make sure he realizes that he needs to adjust to your comfort level. BTW - I'm not a medical professional, but I've played in acting out fantisies.
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    2011-02-11 18-01-57

    thanks for the advice all Im glad that theres a chance things may get *normal* again for me before the months are up. Also good to hear that sex is safe, i can't be told that too many times hahaha! I am trying to turn the focus to other things, our relationship is great and all, but sex has always been a generous part of it and i can't help but feel bad for the hubby. I figured the kinkfo to be the best place to turn because i can actually trust ppl in here to be decent. Thanks for the kind words and the congrats and all. On the bright side, my sweetie has always said he thinks preggo chicks are sexy, so im sure once im showing i'll feel more sexy again ;) Oh, and ever since the doc said i need more protein hes been quite motivated to 'supplement' me with loads of cum, tee-hee!
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    2011-02-11 19-07-41

    Incidentally I LOVE Love love LOVE LOVED being pregnant. I so wish I had thought of (and had found a willing photographer) I would have gotten a bunch of pregnant nudes, too. I LOVED it all (well, ok, maybe not the morning sickness, which lasted all day) but it was of the most (er.....TWO of the most) sensual times of my life. People stroking my belly and offering to carry things for me....oh I'm feeling all broody!!!!!! Enjoy it, TenderPie--it's the BEST
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  • harnack

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    2011-02-11 22-10-26

    Oh indeed- there is no harm, BUT As others said, the tapes start playing -- and in his head too. I remember once with #1 at about 6 or 7 months (which would mean after a 6 or 7 month dry spell) and as much as he REALLY wanted to fuck, he could still only enter about 3/4 of the way for "fear"-- and we are well educated, well-informed people--it's just difficult to separate your selves. I was 40 when I experienced my first nipple-'gasm, and yet, when I was pregnant and breastfeeding, they were COMPLETELY off limits. Now....oh, yes please.... It's all good-- you get a kid, and you get to return to recreational fucking. Don't worry
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  • carmickle

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    2011-02-12 15-22-27

    Congrats TP! (On the baby, not the sex drive) First, I'm sorry to hear it's upsetting for you. things I've thought of: Have you considered that to some degree a sex drive is just a way to get people to reproduce? Now that you really are pregnant, from your body's standpoint there's far less reason to be interested in sex, because for at least the next 7 months it actually takes energy away from what's important, which is the baby. (Of course that's a simplification.) And that leads to my other thought, which is that rather than asking us what to do, though it's sweet that you think of us so highly, I'd be asking *my body* what I should do. Start having real conversations with it about what you both need. It'll tell you if you're trustworthy (but probably not if you're just trying to control it - it's like any other relationship!). And that means you can also ask for what you want and what you need. You may have to compromise, and not get all of it, but if you talk to your body you'll at least get a better understanding of what's most important *now*, rather than what *was* most important before (which is where your attention is). Again, congrats on the big event, and I think if you start talking *to* your body and baby, rather than thinking *about* them, you'll have a much better pregnancy and be set up to be a much better mother (actually, you're *already* a mother, and this may just be your body's way of getting you to start acting like one). Just my view from this side of the stirrups...I hope it helps in some way. :-)
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  • novotney

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    2011-02-22 4-01-46-

    who are you? where do you live? can I have you? :) (you're making me late for a date and I don't care)
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    2011-03-24 3-17-24-

    Wow, that was an amazing post, and I agree! thanks Stud Service, I was half thinking about that connection too, and you put it all together with the chakras and everything.. beautifully written. I have a tender place in my heart for Miss Tenderpie/Jilliana myself.... Love to you my dear!
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  • ludemann

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    2011-07-29 21-43-48

    thank you greentea see you in my dreams ;)
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  • Claudia

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    2012-01-02 23-33-09

    oh my! thanks for pointing that out! Very interesting stuff, i hadn't evn thought about it like that! I can see and do believe that there would be a connection between the two. Hmmmm, thanks stud :)
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    2012-10-06 2-12-02-

    One more bit of synchronicity, this about me Hi 'fo, As I finished the last message about the synchronicity of tenderpie'skinds of opening and insemination -kinds of re-union, underneath it all - on the TV a movie had just started: "It Came From Outer Space." (Yeah, there's the "wow, and I thought Peter North was impressive!" :-) humor to it, but there's more.) "It Came From Outer Space" isof those 'x's sci-fi movies where "Martians" land on Earth, to do something that people fear will utterly change life on Earth as we know it. This is insemination again, this time at the collective level. The feminine Earth, wet and blue, being fertilized by the seed of Mars, the most purely masculine of planets, dry, red, the god of war. And the people were always afraid that it meant the end of the world, just like tenderpie is frightened about changes she can feel will totally change her. From the perspective of what used to be, for a person or a planet, that kind of change really is death. The old way of being will, must, go away. And if we hold on we die with it. But the opportunity is to open to what's coming, what's new, what at the deepest level we asked for...we yearned for. It takes longer for a planet to be fertilized than for a human egg, which is why for the past half-century we've collectively been so afraid of being invaded, of being penetrated, of opening to whatever is most alien, most unlike us...and so what must be in reality the part that we most need, even miss. The part that completes and transforms us...forever. So I thought you might find it pretty how a human egg getting fertilized is also the change in a woman's life is also a guy writing to KinkFo about insemination is also a country watching a movie about invaders from Mars and so must also be a world that feels like it's going to end. But if we can truly see, and we're not too afraid to let go of what's already done, then we as an entire planet can turn and open to, discover, and embrace the incredibly beautiful future that is...our destiny. It's coming.
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