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Pages: advice needed [1]
Author Topic: Advice needed
crosson

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2011-02-08 17-28-42

advice needed Hello all first let me say that I m writing this as a broken individual. I am looking for advice.. but before I get the the need advice part I need to give you the background. My Former Master and I meet and instantly felt a strong attraction for each other. Soon I was at his house every night and a month later I moved in. Things went great until a few weeks ago when he just stopped making time to do anything with me. many nights I would go upstairs as he would say something hurtful and then blame me for taking a joke seresouly.. but it really did hurt and I didn't see the joke in it.
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cravey

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2011-02-09 2-18-31-

part two We had been talking about getting a dog together and i found a pit I liked and he said it would be mine if we broke up. however due to the landlord saying no I couldn't get that dog. So I found a black lab puppy and he said sure so my sister went and got the dog and watched it till i could go get the dog. Well that night I went to take the dog downstairs and he freaked out telling me to let go of his dog. He then grabbed my hair and was yanking me around the room by my hair as he pulled handfuls of my hair out of my head. he grabbed my wrists and twisted.. damaging my thumb. Anyways I finally gave the dog to our roommate and told him I was leaving. well he was between me and the door and he kept pushing me down onto the bed as he stood over me and yelled. He told me to the cops if I wanted to leave with the dog so I did and they told me to take the dog. So I left with the dog. I am wondering of my friends said that I could not complain that he yanked my hair and twisted my wrists like he did as that is part of the lifestyle we chose to live. I however dis agree with this. I feel he was wrong for losing his temper and dragging me around the room by my hair. What do you think? Also any idea's on how to forget him faster.. my brain knows i am better off with out him but my heart hurts for him. My roommate says my former master said he might let me come back if I sign all rights to the dog over to him.. but my roommate also said he would have me sign the at the first disagrement kick me out and keep the dog. I don't want to go back to how things where unless it was back to when I first meet him.... but really going back is never a go option is it? ugh I guess I just wanted to ramble for a few.
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  • Lucie

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    2011-02-09 20-13-09

    the lifestyle is never an excuse for abuse! bottom line, period, the end. I'm sure your friend only said that out of ignorance. It saddens me to think of all the McDoms that use the lifestyle as an excuse to beat on women. That's not being dominant, that's being a coward! Please Please Please, do not ever go back to this guy, if you do he will own you forever because of the power you handed him by going back. Just because you are submissive (which is a gift to the right man) doesn't mean you have to be a door mat, naive, or have to put up with abuse. Be a strong independent woman who chooses who she submits to.
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  • Karena

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    2011-02-10 1-09-16-

    No means no!!!! Does not matter lifestyle or not. That is the risk you take when you top someone!!! Make the complaint, you never know who's life you might save.
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    stroop

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    2011-02-10 15-15-44

    Your friend is wrong. Contact the police to see what options you have. Do not go back! You are away now, if you go back, how much harder will it be to find yourself free again? Do yourself a favor and don't backtrack.
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    traber

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    2011-02-11 8-08-10-

    The cops were ed They wanted to press charges but i was scared i just wanted to get away from the situation so I told them not to press charges. i don't think he realizes i could of told them to arrest him and they would of. I have bruises and my thumb is swollen hurts like hell and I can not really bend it. I guess I just miss having somone I could say I belong too. I miss the hopes that he might make time for me... He has gone to pourto Rico to spend time with his family for a week. I have moved to a different city. I doubt I would go back for if I do I have to give him my dog and that is not going to happen...
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  • dipple

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    2011-02-11 15-29-17

    Just my thoughts... take pics now!! You can still file charges. You don't know what the future brings and a paper trail is best. Stay safe.
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  • laramie

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    2011-02-12 4-41-18-

    ^^2nd this Sub_cj, you should have pressed charges then, and it's not to late. Take picture, go the officers that came out to the house and let them know you want to press charges. If he is in PR right now, if he ever comes back he will already have a warrent and you wouldn't even need to see him again. Get a restraining order so if he bails out he will be arrested for coming near you.
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    kintzel

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    2011-02-12 23-22-58

    FYI, just spoke with a friend from PR, she believes that the charges would follow him to PR. It's legally part of the states.
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    snedeker

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    2011-03-09 0-29-49-

    cj, I forgot Hugs to you. You can file the complaint later. Do you have insurance to get the hand looked at? Do it, add the medical report to the police file. I am glad to hear you are in a different town. Being alone can suck, but is way better then belonging to someone that only causes hurt, someone that makes them self feel better/bigger by knocking you down. More hugs because you deserve them and I think you need them
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    chavers

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    2011-06-26 19-26-03

    more about this subject I do not have insurance also I do not have a camera not even a cell phone camera because he had let me usse of his cell phones and as soon as I got done talking to the cops he yanked the phone away from me. he then used that phone to text message my friends and my sister. My sister who got the dog for me he text messaged and said I had lied to her about who thew dog was for nd that I stole his dog. He also stated I ran of with my other boyfriend and that I was a whore. My sister still has the text message. I really do not want to press charges against him. I know he is not going to come looking for me. My biggest fear is that he is going to take me to court to try and take away the puppy. He hates to be wrong and he told me the police would say he was keeping the dog. He is mad that they agreed it was my dog. He can take me to court my sister can testify that she went and picked the dog up with the intent to give it to me. The lady I talked to even knows the dog was for me. I know I really should not go back to him.. but it is hard I gave him all of me no holding back... CECE thanks for the hugs you are right I need them. i am hurt and so very confused right now.
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    heeb

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    2011-07-06 8-18-25-

    But, the police report show's no bias in the courts. You should still file charges. The paper trail is important to the courts. At the least, be sure to document the officers names and badges no
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  • bleeker

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    2011-07-09 6-06-47-

    It sounds like you are more concereed about the dog than you are about yourself. Just keep in mind possession is x/x of the law, and he cant get the dog if he doesn't know where you are.
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    fonseca

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    2011-12-15 3-31-32-

    did your sis pay for the dog?
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  • louden

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    2012-01-29 8-19-46-

    nope he was on for free My Sister just went and picked him up and held him until I could drive the hour and a half to get him. I am the that bought dog food the leash the collar and $x in toys. The dog was ment for me my sister said if she would have known he was going to try and take the dog from me she would have never got it.
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    lena

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    2012-04-24 13-08-01

    right, so your sis was the one who made the contact and got the dog and took it home. ANd she was thewho spoke with the person who gave it to her. Seems to me, this dog is your sis's dog which she got on her own and decided to give to you. The dude, on the other hand, is only related to the dog by association. Want a croissant? Im hungry...
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  • Randene

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    2012-11-27 9-32-54-

    have you taken the pup to the vet? if you have taken the pup to the vet or if you get him microchiped and registered in your name it is legal proof the dog is yours. and you would then have a legal leg to stand on. alot of shelters microchip for a reasonable price. i have seen people use this as legal ownership proof more than once.
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    calder

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    2013-10-02 11-21-56

    your right.. in some degree I know he is not going to use or abuse me. however if he had the dog I know that the dog would end up spending most of it's life in a kennel as he works long hours and then sleeps and goes back to work. plus if he lost his temper with me whats to stop him from hurting the dog. I will not let an innocent puppy be subject to a life of being in a cage for most of it. A life with someone who might hurt it in anger. He can not hurt me again as after reading and thinking about the hard cold truth of what happened I see that I can never go back to him. You all are right, I should of pressed charges but I didn't. I have already moved to a different town actually on to a millitary post temperarly. So he can try to find me he will be stopped in a heart beat. Thank you all for helping me to see that what he did was out of line and i would be a fool to go back to that.
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    manoj

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    2014-05-12 4-25-20-

    get a no contact order just in case
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  • Leendert

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    2014-06-12 18-16-39

    ok I think that is sound advice I think that is great advice.. just in case he trys to find me and take the dog. I doubt he would resort to violence but thenand again I never thought he would lay his hands on me in anger like he did on friday night eather. Thanks REbalwings
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  • tian

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    2015-08-04 0-37-29-

    Good luck And take care of yourself at least as well as you take care of the puppy. Most of all, Hugs
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    sitek

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    2015-09-01 6-50-15-

    please stick to your word then no matter how much sweet talking he gives you. and second to what rebelwings said, get a restraining order, it will make it that much more difficult for him to get the dog, and for him to convince you to go back.
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  • mcilhenny

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    2016-04-07 14-19-29

    If he's just visiting, when he comes back, those charges would still be there. Him being in PR only mean they have to put the warrant out for his arrest. You should definitely talk to a lawyer if you're going to pursue this. Lots of ground to cover before you get him taken care of.
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