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Pages: Sexually Starved. [1]
Author Topic: Sexually Starved.
rubino

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-08 17-30-34

Sexually Starved. i really have no clue how to handle my situation, i have tried the suggestions given here to me on past subjects, i feel like im gonna absolutely lose my MIND! how can someone claim to be a freaky sexual person, and portray (online) to have such a dirty, kinky and adventurous mind, even go so far as to rate *kinky* and *sex* both 10's in the things most important to him, but in real life, i am being sexually starved!!! damn. I honestly feel like he just isnt attracted to me, so why would he even bother to be with me at all. he says that he is attracted, but actions prove otherwise. 6 months into this, and feeling like a old married couple isnt a good thing!! lol i want sex 2-3 times a day, and im lucky LUCKY to get it twice a month, and then im still the starting it. i just want to be desired, and wanted, it turns me on more than anything else in the world.. and i feel the complete opposite :( he says i just have to Know, he loves me and wants me. yet, he never shows me. i guess im just venting here, or throwing myself a pity party lol i try to communicate with him, and nothing seems to work..so i just had to cry somewhere.. and this is it. sorry people.
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beiswenger

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-09 6-42-26-

I will pity party with you. I can totally relate to these feelings. Im sorry that you feel you were deceived by him him, or that he misrepresented himself in the beginning. It sounds to me like if you are at this stage only 6 months into the relationship it is probably best to cut your losses and end it. Find someone who is more compatible with you sexually. I wish you the best.
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  • neff

    Sexy
    Posts: 2

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    2011-02-09 18-55-44

    if ya gotta work that hard to get laid its time to leave. It sure as hell wont get any better as he gets older. Its a tough situation and you being a young woman you need to find a sole mate who is horny as you are. cut your loses and go have some fun!
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    Bekki

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    2011-02-10 11-33-13

    where are you? i have complained for years! i read so many comments from women just like yours, and yet i can't seem to hook up with women like you! (until recently!!! now i could actually use a day off!) but if this is really important to you, tell him, and tell him what you desire. and if he chooses to ignore it, well, then you need to decide how important this is in the grand scheme of things and if the relationship should continue. but there are plenty of guys out here that would bend over backward for a woman with a sexual appetite like yours!!!! trust me (i am of them!!)
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    neff

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    2011-02-11 3-12-31-

    6 months in is the decision point, IMHO If you're this unhappy, it isn't likely to get better. By no means marry him (unless, god forbid, you already did)
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    Kristine

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    2011-02-11 16-42-54

    Agreed...... With only 6 months invested, better to bail now then wait until splitting up would become a nightmare....
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    silman

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    2011-02-11 18-14-25

    I just think differently about this I guess Take ck's situation...yeah, it is easy to bail...but why not work on it together...people can grow and change over time...if they truly love each other outside the bedroom...they will be able to grow and learn together...but its not going to be easy and will take a damn sight longer than months... I have been married for 9 years and we are now beginning to know each other better than ever...I cannot wait for the next 50 years... It seems as though more people hand out the "bail" card to people rather than telling them to stick it out and communicate...see how time will help them grow...IMHO
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    reitmeier

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    2011-02-12 10-46-31

    People speak from their own experience For every couple who stuck it out and made it (like CK, whose relationship she readily admits still isn't ideal, and like Newly and SB who seem to have worked it out really well, or are in the process of doing so) There are about 5 stories of people who tried, and tried, and gave, and compromised, and still their partner never came around.
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  • reade

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    2011-02-14 5-35-17-

    Exactly. Hubby and I are not where I would like to be. But I make the sacrifice because I want to be with him But if things had been the way the OP is desricing when we had only been together 6 months. We would not be together tday. Im sure of that.
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  • Amargo

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    2011-03-04 23-44-17

    As long as both partners are working to achieve the same goal then I would agree. On the other hand. If partner's needs are being met and the others aren't The lack of incentive of partner can be difficult to overcome.
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  • tannaz

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    2011-06-16 6-05-58-

    Not to mention now before there married and totally comitted is the right time to come to these realizations as opposed to when you are married have etc.
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  • Bren

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    2011-11-09 10-19-39

    Two different points in the relationship. I would never advise anyone who has been married for x years (or even x) to just bail out. I am huge huge huge on working things out and I am living proof that it can happen. Before marriage/long term commitment, or in the early stages of a relationship? I think it is difficult for people to invest THAT much effort into a relatively unestablished relationship.
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  • lancia

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    2011-12-22 15-29-47

    I agree the first thing is communication. And I actually do believe in trying to fix something before thinking about ending it. I understood from her post that she had already tried communication, and it had been unsuccessful. I am eternally grateful he did NOT give up on me. It is purely through his strength that we have been married x years. I was talking about the idea that if her attempts to fix it had not born fruit, and she had months invested into the relationship, it was time to evaluate the situation. If it does not appear fixable, despite efforts to fix it, would it not be better to admit now that there was an incompatibility than after there were years invested and ren involved.
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    bleeker

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    2012-09-07 7-07-14-

    I must have misread the OP's description of the relationship...which lead to my hasty reply of "bailing"...I thought they were married... Yes...before diving into the life of marriage and ...it may be the right advice to bail..cut your losses...and hope to find a compatable mate... Apologies to all...
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    oblinger

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    2013-04-21 10-09-13

    I do agree with you though.... the divorce advice is thrown around here very casually sometimes. Which is really sad.
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    mendieta

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    2013-06-03 10-07-14

    I too find it sad how casually people throw around the advice to split up. I can understand in short relationships (like the OP) but people say it all the time. Somebody says I don't get what I need and there are always responses about leaving. Though I do grant that they are correct in their advice sometimes but to me why not work on it. On the other hand I don't have a lot of dating experience so I don't know what it is like to have relationship for a few months then move on.
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    gafford

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    2014-03-02 18-58-43

    Yes. And typiy when we are talking about marriage there are ren invovled. Does it make sense to end a marriage over an unsatisfying kink/sex life and ruin a family in the process? No, It doesn't.
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  • huseby

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    2015-06-30 13-20-06

    I think sometimes it can make sense. It really depends on the whole marriage and people involved, obviously. Meaning, I am not a "stay married at all costs" type, but I also thing that most marriages can be saved if both want it.
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    burkhardt

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    2015-12-04 17-29-43

    In some cases but It really depends. I didn't over sex for years but I can't swear that after another decade I wouldn't. IDK IMO if you are truly unhappy in your relationship it is better for you and the to seperate. That is unless you want your to follow your example and stick with unhappy situations. That being said overall I agree with you. Sex isn't everything. If you truly care about the person then work hard to find a way to make it work. Put in the effort.
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